Embrace the mess. 3 ways to lead through challenging times
This year has been a lot, hasn’t it?
Described as a year of “rampant burnout” (HBR) and “a slog” (Campaign), the landscape of ‘pandemic scars x uncertain world x relentless change’ that we’ve all been navigating in 2023 has been messy, to say the least.
It’s been a lot to live through and a lot to lead through. And it doesn’t look like things are going to get much tidier any time soon.
What are we learning then about leading well through such tricky times that we can usefully carry into 2024?
It’s not an easy question and obviously none of us have a certain answer. But I think at least part of the answer is to learn to embrace the mess. For a couple of reasons.
Because the world needs more great modern leaders who willing to lean into the discomfort of uncertainty and change and find new ways to lead through it all. And because while embracing the mess sounds scary, my experience of coaching leaders is that it helps them build the resilience they need to make leadership actually a bit less stressful.
Embracing the mess means a lot more than I can write about in this short piece. But sometimes less is more, and anyway the good news is that even a few simple shifts in how you think and behave can help you and your team thrive (not just survive) through challenging times.
So, here are a few thoughts on three ways to embrace the mess as a leader. Maybe useful to slip into a pocket for 2024 if you’re a leader (or the pocket of the person who leads you, perhaps).
Accept and adapt
I think embracing the mess starts with acceptance.
Because the opposite of acceptance, resistance, just makes the mess worse! Often focused on things we can’t control, resistance drains our resilience and blocks progress.
In practice, acceptance often involves letting go. Perhaps it’s worth asking yourself then “what am I resisting that I need to let go of, to lead well for now?”
Maybe it looks like letting go of a lingering attachment to the old leadership models (“but why can’t I just tell them what to do?!”) The old models are broken, and the new ones are so much better.
Maybe it looks like letting go of unhelpfully negative narratives about the younger generation (“but why aren’t they like I was?”) Every new generation is a challenge to the one before, and Gen Z have much to teach us.
Maybe it looks like letting go of burdening yourself with the expectation to be superhuman in the face of it all (“but I’m fine, I don’t need a break…”) None of us are superhuman, and what a relief not to have to be.
When we accept change as inevitable, see difference as exciting and embrace our human fragility with self-compassion, we free up the energy to do the next important thing: adapt. We unlearn the leadership habits that aren’t serving us anymore and adapt to some new habits that will serve us better. Like these…
2. Live in the present
One habit might be to live in the present a bit more intentionally, as a leader.
Not fully, of course: leaders need one eye on the future. Long terms goals create some helpful clarity and can galvanise a team to achieve big things that take time. But the present is perhaps your most helpful centre of gravity in messy times.
Partly because the future is foggy, so the goals you set now may need to evolve over time and the path to achieving them almost certainly will. So as the world throws its curved balls at us, the most resilient and realistic way to lead now is with an experimental, flexible process that builds out from the moment you’re in.
That means being forensically focused on what’s happening now, using your Awareness Intelligence (literally “what am I noticing?”) to make progress from the data that’s emerging in real time.
“What are we trying? What’s working? What are we learning?” are some of the beats of progress through the mess for leaders, now.
Living in the present will also help you get the best from your rising talent. Your restless Gen Z star might be somewhere else in a year’s time, however good a leader you are, but you have them on your team today.
Bring your energy into the now with them, then. Engage them with what they can work on today that is helping them grow, shine and contribute to the company’s purpose. And watch their motivation rise.
3. Be more curious
Curiosity is a superpower for modern leaders. But it isn’t always an easy superpower to access.
In challenging times we can easily fall back into comfort zone ways of leading. It’s hard not to: when we feel under threat we instinctively want to make ourselves feel safe.
And the classic comfort zone for many leaders is control and certainty, not curiosity. Faced with relentless change, uncertainty and pressure, some leaders are telling me that it’s hard not to default to high control, high critique behaviours driven by an instinctive desire for certainty: “just do it this way”.
The problem is that this brand of certainty is an illusory comfort in the modern leadership landscape. Because it’s the fastest way to dishearten, disempower and then lose the talented people you need by your side to navigate the mess with you. And because of course there’s very little you can be certain about anyway.
Your team still needs some certainty of course: creating some tidiness in the mess will set them up to succeed. A clear sense of purpose and a codified culture are two enabling points of certainty, for example.
But adapting within a framework of clarity to a mindset of curiosity will help you shift to a more collaborative, empowering, and flexible style. A modern style for messy times.
Choosing curiosity over certainty sometimes means digging deep when it’s hard to.
It means saying “I don’t know where this path leads, but I’m curious to explore it and I’m confident we’re going to learn something useful on it” when you know your team would prefer to hear “I know this is what’s at the end of the path.”
It means saying “what do you think?” to empower someone, when you are itching to just give them an answer because it feels faster and safer to do it your way.
It means saying “I wonder what it would be like if I admit I’m human and need a break?” and then discovering that your team find you more rather than less inspiring as a result.
Choosing curiosity can feel freeing and flexible in ways that lighten a leader’s shoulders. But it can also be an uncomfortable unlearning shift, for some.
It can help to remember that embracing curiosity doesn’t mean letting go of control. You don’t lose control by saying “I’m not sure what the answer is, what do you think?” You gain control, because you enable the diverse collaboration, continuous learning and empowerment you need for success in a modern creative culture. And, of course, you still have the authority to say “no”!
When we embrace the mess by making sometimes brave but also freeing shifts like living in the present and being more curious, it helps us learn to lead from a place of resilience and confidence, not fragility and fear.
A much more positive place to be.